Pity the Boston Area Sports Fan; Legal Employment Trends; & Workin’ for a Livin’

Episode Notes

Transcript

Announcer:

It’s a Legal Toolkit with Jared Correia. With guests, Erin Dutch Andersen. We play a game of working for a living and then Jared gives you one more reason to pity the Downtrod in Boston area Sports fan in your life. But first, your host Jared Correia.

Jared Correia:

It’s time for the Legal Toolkit podcast, where the wild things are and yes, it’s still called Legal Toolkit podcast even though I have no idea, truly no idea what a tailpipe cutter is. Wait, is that a sphincter? I’m your host, Jared Correia. You’re stuck with me because neither Jimmy Jam nor Terry Lewis were available. I guess it’s not going to be a Rhythm Nation 1814. After all, I’m the CEO of Red Cave Law Firm Consulting, a business management consulting service for attorneys and bar associations. Find us [email protected]. Now, before we get to our interview today with Erin Andersen, your brand networker about the current state of the job market, I want to talk to you about never giving up. The last time I saw my dad alive was October 27th, 2004. By that point, his body was riddled with various cancers and he had less than a couple weeks left to live.

The other reason I remember the date was because that was also the night that the Red Sox swept the St. Louis Cardinals to win the 2004 World Series. My dad was still lucid that night and when the last out was recorded, he just kept repeating over and over again. I can’t believe they did it. I just can’t believe it. That was a fair reaction as you’ll see now. This was the most bittersweet night of my life, one of the happiest moments I’ve ever experienced, coupled with one of the saddest, effectively saying goodbye to my dad with the grandest going away president of all time. Our shared favorite team won the World Series for the first time in 86 years. Now, if you’ve never been a sports fan, it’s hard to understand how meaningful that could be, and that’s especially true if you’ve never been a sports fan of a team that found increasingly horrifying ways to lose big games.

I see you Cub fans. Cut to October 26th, 1986, the Red Sox are in the World Series after a stirring comeback in the American League Championship series against the Angels Down three one, they win the series. Now we’re in the World Series. It’s game six. The red size have a three two lead. They have a chance to clinch the series and the championship. My dad younger sends me to bed before the game ends since I’m only eight years old, but I sneak a radio upstairs and I’m listening to the end of the game under the covers because I want to be a part of history. I mean, he probably knows, but the socks have a two run lead going into the bottom of the 10th. It seems like it’s all sewed up then perhaps predictably, as I would’ve thought if I was older, the wheels fall off the bullpen Implodes Manager John McNamara doesn’t put in defensive replacement.

Dave Stapleton for first baseman Bill Buckner, which he has done all season long except for this game, and Mookie Wilson’s dribble up the line goes right through Buckner’s legs. The Red Sox lose. Then obviously they lose Game seven and the series, the Curse of the Bambino continues more in that later. Fast forward to 2003. It’s October 16th, another game seven this time against the Yankees at Yankee Stadium. The Red Sox are up five two in the top of the eighth. They’re looking like they’re finally going to break the curse of the bambino and beat the Yankees to get to the World Series. This time I’m in Kansas City in the airport. The locals called the KCI and my future wife and I are watching the Game on a TV at the Bar. It’s Kansas City, but the people in the airport are really happy for us. They’re excited that the Red Sox are finally going to finish off the Yankees.

Only they don’t. Red manager Grady little inexplicably leaves Pedro Martinez in for the eighth inning when he’s clearly gassed. The Yankees tie it and Erin fucking Boone hits a solo home run in the bottom of the 11th off Knuckle Ball or Tim Wakefield to win the game. It’s a walk off the Yankees win again. Now flashback to October 2nd, 1978. My dad, younger and stronger still runs into one of the umpires who’ll be handling the Red Sox versus Yankees one game playoff at a bar. Everybody wants to go to this game as it will decide the winner of the American League east and a playoff birth into the American League championship series. My dad sweet tossed the umpire into giving him a field pass. So my dad and his friend Strolled right through the Red Sox clubhouse, walk out onto the field, climb into the stands and sit on the series to watch the game.

Hey, it was the seventies In the seventh inning, the red size are cruising up two to nothing, but the Yankees get two men on and then they’re shortstop. Bucky fucking Dent, actual middle name hits a three run home run to give the Yankees the lead. Of course, they never look back and the red sizer eliminated from playoff contention as they lose. Fun fact. Bucky Den hit five home runs the entire 1978 season before that game. Good times the rest of the Red Sox history. Post 1918 when the then team owner Harry Frazee sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees to fund a play called No, no Nanette, no, no indeed. Hence the curse. In the 1946 World Series, the Cardinals beat the Red Sox in game seven when Enis slaughter scores from first base on a famous play called the Mad Dash where Johnny Pesky holds the ball.

Instead of throwing a old play in the 1967 World Series, the Cardinals beat the red. So again, when the so run into human buzz saw Bob Gibson who won three games in the Cardinals game. Seven series victory, seven games, Gibson wins three. He was a monster In the 1975 World Series, the red flag got the iconic moment this time with Carlton Fisk waving his home run fare over the green monster as he ran up the first baseline. But the big red machine, Cincinnati Reds won that series in seven games too. If you’re noticing a pattern here, the Red Sox seem to always fucking lose in game seven, taking it right to the wire before taking your heart and stamping on it. And yes, I just did that. I recalled all that from memory and what I didn’t know from firsthand experience my dad told me about and what he didn’t know from firsthand experience.

His dad told him about also a red so fan. In fact, my grandfather died during the 1975 World Series, so needless to say, there’s a lot riding on 2004 and lemme tell you friends, that was no fucking picnic either because another Yankees series was looking pretty dire. It was another American League championship series and after the humiliated defeat at the hands of the arch rival Yankees in 2003, the Red Sox had gone down three nothing to the Yankees having lost game three by a score of 19 to eight. That’s right. That’s not a football score. Now, to make matters worse, no one had ever come back from a three nothing deficit to win a series, any series of any kind in the entire history of baseball dating back to the 1870s. The next night the Red Sox trying to stave off elimination were down four to three in the bottom of the eighth before the Red Sox come to bat.

The Yankees bring in Mariano Rivera the greatest closer in Major League baseball history up to the plate strolls, Kevin Malar, the team’s mouthpiece and first baseman by some miracle Malar draws a walk against Rivera and Rivera never walked anyone. Terry Fona, the Red Sox manager pinch runs from Millar with Dave Roberts, a speedster that they acquired at the trade deadline. Roberts steals second base off of Rivera. So now we’ve got somebody in scoring position, and that right there is the most important moment in red. So history, that’s when everything turns around. That’s when a century of momentum finally mercifully shifts. Dave Ortiz big poppy drives Robertson to tie the game, and then he walks it off in the 11th with a two run home run. Now you don’t understand. This is what the Yankees do. Well, not this time. The Sox won that game and the next seven in a row too to win the World Series.

Then they win three more World Series between 2007 and 2018. And if you had told me that would’ve happened when I was under my covers listening to the 1986 Red Sox unravel, I would’ve told you that you had to be full of shit. I bring this up because there’s a new documentary on Netflix called The Comeback, which chronicles the 2003 and 2004 Red Sox season. It’s basically baseball porn for Red Sox fans. I fucking love it. I was all up in my feelings. Of course, I’m going to make my son watch him, and that’s because there are lessons beyond baseball inherent in this story. The 2004 Red Sox never quit despite the baggage, despite the many times they were presented with viable options to fold up the tent and go after it again next year. It’s hard not to quit when things get tough. It’s difficult to sustain when the odds are stacked against you, but the greater the odds, the more glory is the victory.

I mean, I dunno about you, but I’ve got goosebumps. Next up, we’ve got Erin Andersen of your brand networker on the state of the legal job market for both employees and employers. But before we get there, let’s now hear from our sponsors. Okay, everybody, let’s get to the meat in the middle of this legal podcasting sandwich. Today’s meat is pheasant. Isn’t that pleasant? Alright, that’s not for IMing. Let’s introduce our guest today. Her first appearance ever. Maybe her last, I don’t know. We’ll see on the Legal Toolkit we have for your listening pleasure. It’s Erin Andersen, who’s the founder of your brand, networker, LLC. Erin, welcome to the show. How you doing?

Erin Anderson:

Good. Doing good. Thanks so much for having me here.

Jared Correia:

Can I make a small confession to you?

Erin Anderson:

Absolutely.

Jared Correia:

Which is your last name is Andersen, but you’re one of the people who spell Andersen, SEN, and I always get that wrong. Have you had issues with that throughout your life?

Erin Anderson:

I feel like you may have you and everyone else. Yeah, I’ve never noticed you make the mistake, but yes, I

Jared Correia:

Have to correct myself. I’m like, wait, she’s a sin.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah, so my dad’s family is from Denmark, hence the SEN and so yes, diplomas, report cards, everything has been misspelled. Luckily I have a fairly easy first name, but yes, it’s a very common, usually that or somebody can’t find me in a system or an email because the last name,

Jared Correia:

My last name ends with three vows and has more vowels than consonants. So I feel your pain. A lot of misspellings, a lot of mispronunciations. We all have our crosses to bear.

Erin Anderson:

Absolutely.

Jared Correia:

Alright, let’s jump into it. So people will probably look at your LinkedIn when they’re listening or as they’re listening or after they’re listening, you’re into a lot of shit. You do a lot career transition coaching. You’re a LinkedIn coach, you do recruiting for law firms. So did I miss anything? Could you tell people what it is you do? Because a pretty broad range, frankly,

Erin Anderson:

There’s a broad range. It really falls underneath one umbrella, which is culture. So when anyone’s coming to me, I do make sure that they’re either trying to improve their own culture if it’s an organization or if they’re looking to enter a better culture at the next step of their career. If I am going to do a LinkedIn talk or a LinkedIn training at an organization, I make sure that their culture is also aligned, that I’m not just checking a box. That’s important to me because on LinkedIn you’re representing your own culture. So whether you are, if I’m doing a training for a C-suite or a firm, it should be very clear that their culture is represented. So when they go to hire on a LinkedIn page and people are definitely checking who’s the founder of the firm or that organization or who’s in the c-suite, that it’s very clear that what they’re practicing, what they preach, and they’re getting involved in those conversations on LinkedIn.

So at this point, I’d say about 60% of my business is hiring for law and accounting firms, and I do that with a focus on culture. So that doesn’t mean that a law firm has to have a bad culture by any means. It could be that they’re looking to improve their retention or they’re looking for it to stay the same with the right cultural fit. And I do it on a flat rate basis, as you know. So it makes it a lot more affordable for these firms to scale. Instead of that hefty recruiter fee, which I heard is going up to 35% in some cases next year, and that’s very difficult for a small law firm to keep up with. I hire everyone from legal staff up to attorneys, and then the other half of my business is career transition.

Jared Correia:

I like how you pulled that all together. You got a theme. That’s good. It says the career transition piece of it. You want to talk about that a little bit? Sure. I don’t know. As somebody who is not transitioning careers and hasn’t for a long time, I would feel like it’d be a great time to do that because the job market is so hot,

Erin Anderson:

Right? Right. It is. It’s a really good time. There was definitely a big low on both sides during that 10 days leading up to the election was interesting just in terms of nobody really applying to jobs and since then the job market

Jared Correia:

Passed. Too busy, freaking the fuck out. But anyway, go ahead.

Erin Anderson:

Exactly. But it has picked up and so it’s actually really strong going into the end of the year, which is great. We’re seeing a lot of candidates and a lot of demand from organizations looking to hire when it comes to career transition. I work with a lot of corporate professionals, more senior level in their career, but I also work with a lot of attorneys that are looking to transfer from big law to small law or potentially as a solo going back into a firm. And what’s beneficial is I see both sides of the hiring market.

Jared Correia:

I was going to say, you work with employers and employees, which is awesome.

Erin Anderson:

So I can see what’s going on both sides. What are people looking for from a firm perspective, but then also from an individual.

Jared Correia:

That’s super interesting. Okay. Can we talk a little bit about this flat fee recruiting thing that you do the marketplace better than I do? That is a fairly rare thing to run across.

Erin Anderson:

Very rare.

Jared Correia:

I haven’t run across many people. There’s not many people who are doing flat fee recruiting. So can you talk to me a little bit of how that works? Because I think most people are used to what you’ve talked about, the percentage deal, which is going up and up,

Erin Anderson:

Right? So the people that are doing flat rate tend to also be doing a segmented fee where it’s maybe separated into 2, 3, 4. And so even though it’s flat rate in a sense, sometimes it still equals the price of a recruiter just spread over time, which sure, that can be a little bit easier, but I saw a big gap from networking and doing LinkedIn training. These organizations, all these small firms, were complaining that they’d spend upward sometimes of 25 grand to hire their office manager, and then they couldn’t hire their associate in the same year. So there was all this demand, but they couldn’t keep up, and so that’s why I started the flat rate. I really only work with small firms, potentially medium size, but those that are established that are looking to hire typically at least once a year, but several positions in one year so that they can fully scale for where they want to go. I’ve been working with a lot of firms to build out sometimes half of their team.

Jared Correia:

I mean, I think that’s got to be massively attractive to firms.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah, not very competitive just because a lot of people aren’t doing it. I saw a big issue in the market with recruiters also not giving dedicated attention because it’s kind of a gamble. Well, if they get it, then they get paid, and so they don’t put a lot of time. And so I’m in touch with my firms every week. I’m updating them what’s going on, and they get a dedicated job slot on my LinkedIn account, which if they were to go hire on their own, they could spend thousands on the ads alone and there are no ads. If you work with me,

Jared Correia:

I want to get back to the nitty gritty stuff in a second, but how did you get into the career coaching? Yeah, did you have some bad experiences in career? I did. I’ll tell you, one of the reasons I do law firm consulting is because I had some terrible experiences working with law firms and I was basically like, you guys, dunno the fuck you’re doing. Similar.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah, very similar. Yeah. I was into two bad cultures, which is really what has led to what I do now. So I experienced a lot of harassment along with that. I would also say it was how the organizations were run. It was very cold in terms of also the relationship building aspect, and so that’s something that I definitely pour into. But yeah, I left two organizations, it was covid. I had slightly done some of this work on the side, even helping family and friends, giving advice for free and everyone was getting successful results and I was like, well, it’s, I’m unemployed, let’s give it a shot. And it really took off and it grew from more branding for careers to coaching to LinkedIn, to then hiring. And next year I’ll be coming up on five years.

Jared Correia:

Congratulations. That’s amazing. Thank

Erin Anderson:

You. Yeah, beat the statistic, right?

Jared Correia:

Right. This is a little bit of entrepreneurship by force. Then you’re like, oh, this sucks. I don’t have a job. Let me try this. Yeah,

Erin Anderson:

It was, but it kind of oddly goes to everything happens for a reason because I don’t have any entrepreneurs in my family. I did it. I wasn’t listening to things at that time that would’ve got me on this path and this was the path I should have been on.

Jared Correia:

Oh, congratulations. That’s really hard to do. I feel like it’s a lot easier to start a business if you have people in your family who are business.

Erin Anderson:

Right. And you’ve seen the ins and outs

Jared Correia:

Don’t have that. It’s really difficult. Yeah,

Erin Anderson:

A hundred percent. Yeah.

Jared Correia:

Alright, let’s talk about, because you work both sides, employers, employees, let’s talk about LinkedIn again for a little bit. So LinkedIn right now seems to be the place to both post and find jobs. So let’s talk about lawyers first who are seeking jobs, what are they doing that’s successful on LinkedIn and what should they be thinking about to prop themselves up as candidates or to gain the attention of a hire or a recruiter like you?

Erin Anderson:

Sure. So to be honest, I think it’s more what they’re not doing that’s hurting their candidacy.

Jared Correia:

Salty, alright, let’s get into it

Erin Anderson:

Because from a LinkedIn recruiter perspective, if I’m running a targeted search versus just viewing an app, and even if I am viewing an application, if I see a resume in LinkedIn profile that’s not consistent, that’s a red flag to me that they’re trying to disguise something. So then I have to do a deeper dive into what’s going on there. From a search perspective, it’s very hard for me sometimes to find even the highest qualified candidate in the pile because they have not optimized their headline and their about section and their skill section. So those are the three areas. If you don’t hit on those keywords. I’ll give you an example. Looking for a probate paralegal right now, I received several profiles and resumes and I will do a command fine and search for the word probate and 75% didn’t have it, so why would I hire you for a probate position? Right?

Jared Correia:

Yeah.

Erin Anderson:

So you have to really make sure that those words, whatever your specialty is in law, repeat that word over and over again in your profiles that you actually show up in these searches and we can find you.

Jared Correia:

That’s great.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah.

Jared Correia:

Okay. Let’s look at it from the other perspective, because when I was looking for jobs as a lawyer back in the day, nobody even thought to like, oh, let me look at this website and see if it’s the right culture fit. For me, it was more like, I guess get paid and I’m willing to do whatever to get paid. Now, I think people are a little bit more picky in terms of like, okay, where am I going to work? What kind of values does this company have? And so

Erin Anderson:

Agree.

Jared Correia:

I feel like that’s a good opportunity for business owners to promote themselves as a viable workplace, but a lot don’t. So how should business owners be doing that? And then how much of this is an issue generationally? I hear a lot of boomers are business owners who are like, I don’t want millennials to work for me. They want all this bullshit. They should just sit at a desk and work.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah.

Jared Correia:

What are your thoughts on that stuff?

Erin Anderson:

I definitely still hear a lot of that, and I think there’s an obvious of what we’re looking for, but I think when it’s represented or said that way, it does turn people away. And whether that’s right or wrong, that is what’s happening and it’s competitive market. And so I think you have to be very careful with how you brand yourself in that way. From a LinkedIn perspective, the red flags to a candidate is when there is’ an firm LinkedIn page and they’re like, well, unfortunately, a thought that might cross their head is like, is this legit? Or it just takes much longer time for them to find the firm sometimes. Is there a website? Are we finding them? Can we find the firm owner? Sometimes I have firm owners that don’t have a single page themselves and then they can’t find anything further about them, and it could discourage them from considering that firm. I would also say if they don’t have all of their employees listed on their LinkedIn company, so if the employees aren’t linking to the company page, that’s also something that they may be trying to get that information if it’s on the site and they’re not able to access it. So those are really important things. Also, being careful, the conversations that our attorneys are getting involved with on LinkedIn, everybody can go to an activity section and look at that. So it can go from a positive or negative perspective, but just being very careful.

And same thing on the candidate side.

Jared Correia:

Yeah. What are you seeing people doing from a website perspective? Are you into that at all? Are people starting to produce pages on their website about, Hey, this is what the culture looks like at this firm. Are they producing videos day in the life of an associate? Is that stuff happening? Is this effective?

Erin Anderson:

I have seen it. I wouldn’t say that that’s something I see often or it’s happening a hundred percent with all my firms.

I’d like to see it. The video sounds amazing. If I could have a video on a web or even give it to candidates that are interviewing with me that they could see what it would look like to walk into the firm and where they would sit, great. But I don’t see it very often. Often when I ask about a firm’s culture, they’ll send me to the missions and value statements of their website, which is not what I’m looking for. I prefer to interview other employees. I’ll ask them, who has stayed at your firm for a very long time? Not the five plus year is a long time, but unfortunately it kind of is in this market. Can I speak with them? We know recruiters have approached them. Why did you stay here and not leave this firm?

Jared Correia:

Yeah, good stuff. Okay. So the job market is crazy right now for job seekers. Crazy good. And has been for an extended period of time.

Erin Anderson:

Yes.

Jared Correia:

Do you see that continuing?

Erin Anderson:

I do. Honestly, I started during Covid, which is a really interesting time, just the opposite, right? And I thought that at that time we were, obviously a lot of companies were doing layoffs, but at the same time, there are companies hiring it. And typically what happens in that is that people have to transition. So everything just sort of evolves. I’ve been doing this for almost five years, and I’ve seen it continuously shift both from a candidate and firm perspective. For myself, I’m thinking about business planning, and of course, in the back of your mind is always like, well, what if there’s a downturn? What happens with the market? And it’s like, well, really, I’ve gotten into two areas that I feel like the market doesn’t affect too much because from a candidate perspective, if there’s a market downturn, that’s when they think about a transition and they start to brand themselves for when it gets better. And a lot of attorneys, I don’t just serve one area. So sometimes employment attorneys actually increase their business during a downturn because more issues come up as there’s layoffs and things like that. And so I think it will just continue to evolve and change. I mean, there’s outside factors that are affecting that. I don’t at least see any signs of a downturn from a candidate or a firm perspective at the moment.

Jared Correia:

Given that the market’s so hot for employees right now, how picky can employees be about trying to get what they want in terms of a job? How aggressive can you be about asking for shit, basically?

Erin Anderson:

Yeah. Yeah. It depends on the size of the pool of the candidates that you’d like, right? So the more that we, if you’re going to say, I’m looking for a family law attorney with family law experience, well, you have to make sure you’re paying for it. Versus a family law attorney that comes to me and says, they just have to have the litigation. They can learn the family side as long as they really want to do family law moving forward. That’s the difference. We’re going to get a much larger pool, the more general we go. And so another part of that is personality. From the cultural perspective, what’s more important to you? The technical skills? Are you willing to train or is the personality? A lot of firms like solo attorneys. That’s something I hear more and more because they understand what it’s like to run the business. There’s also a different side of that of, well, maybe they’re not adaptable, so we have to figure that out during an interview. But yeah, that’s what I would say about that.

Jared Correia:

And then how hard should you push as a hire to get what you want? Like flexibility, benefits, bonuses, incentives, because good question. You’re in a good position. You have a lot of leverage,

Erin Anderson:

So timing is everything. The faster we can move as a firm, it helps a lot. Otherwise, we’re losing candidates left and right for candidates. You’d be surprised, and it surprised me every day, how many attorneys don’t negotiate when that’s something that a lot of them do for a living. Crazy. Or they should be more assertive. It’s crazy.

Jared Correia:

Yeah.

Erin Anderson:

Nope. I’d say eight out of 10 times that that attorney will not negotiate. They may negotiate for PTO, not their salary, and it could be even on the lower end of a salary range, they still won’t negotiate. I see that more with junior attorneys. It’s always very, very surprising to me. On the other hand, I’ve worked with firms that find it offensive If somebody negotiates and I do come in and remind them that, well, if you want to hire an assertive attorney,

Jared Correia:

If you’re listening, that’s just dumb. You want them negotiate. If you’re hiring people, don’t do that. Don’t think that way,

Erin Anderson:

Right? As long as it’s reasonable. But I do see in today’s work environment more flexibility and accommodations around PTO where somebody has a child and they would rather have a little bit more flexibility with running here and there as long as the work is done versus increasing their salary.

Jared Correia:

Last question for you. I know I’m peppering you with questions.

Erin Anderson:

It’s okay.

Jared Correia:

We got to talk about ai, every podcast or I get taste. So how does this affect the employment world? Or does it from either perspective, just explore the studio space a little bit?

Erin Anderson:

Sure. So from the firm perspective, and I could say as a hiring manager on LinkedIn, the way in which LinkedIn has optimized AI for hiring is unbelievable. How I can narrow down a search to find exactly what I want. If they have the keywords on their profile,

Then it’s great. It saves a lot of time, and we can actually find who we need for a targeted search perspective. From a candidate perspective, where I’m seeing it being an issue is thank you notes that we’re receiving after interviews. It’s very obvious if AI is being used and a firm will automatically turn down that candidate. Every time I’ve seen that, it tends to be very general. It’s long. I’ve seen responses to emails, the same thing where it’s AI from a search perspective. The only thing that I worry about longterm is that we’re going to be able to set up bots to apply to applications. And that’s what I think may be coming in the future, maybe within the next couple of years. However, I think it’s going to be obvious that I’m going to be able to recognize it. But AI has really taken recruiting and hiring to a new level to be able to find these great candidates.

Jared Correia:

Awesome. Thanks, Erin. That was great.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah.

Jared Correia:

Will you hang around for one final segment? Do you have some time?

Erin Anderson:

Absolutely.

Jared Correia:

Great. All right. We’ll take one final break so you can hear more about our sponsor companies and your latest service offerings. Then stay tuned. As always, for the rump roast, it remains even more supple than the Roast Beast. Welcome to the rear end of the Legal Toolkit, everybody. That’s right. It’s the Rump Roast. It’s a grab bag of short form topics. All of my choosing, why do I get to pick? Because I’m the host, Erin, given the fact that you’re ensconced in the hiring space, I want to play a little game. I like to call working for a living. Here’s how it’s going to go. I’m going to have five different sets of three jobs, and as someone who is very much in this world, I would like you to rank the jobs from one to three, your preference with one being the job you’d be most willing to take, and three being the job you would be least willing to take.

Erin Anderson:

Oh, I like this. Okay.

Jared Correia:

Are you ready?

Erin Anderson:

I’m ready.

Jared Correia:

These, by the way, disclaimer everyone, these are all real jobs. Job set. Number one, we’re starting off with the really personal jobs. Number one, you can be a professional cuddler, which pays you between 40 to $80 an hour. Not bad. You could be an intimacy coordinator, which pays you 1100 bucks a day. Not bad. And maybe you get to work with Tom Cruise or on a slightly more depressing scale, you can be a professional mourner, which pays out 30 to $40 per event. So if you were looking for a new gig, would you want to be a professional cuddler, an intimacy coordinator, or a professional mourner?

Erin Anderson:

I’m coordinating the intimacy between two other people. That’s my first question.

Jared Correia:

Yes. Good question. I think that’s where the job part of it comes in.

Erin Anderson:

Okay. So I’d put that probably as one, because I just have to do the coordinating and I feel like I do a

Jared Correia:

Lot of coordinating now. Now feel like you would be great with that. Okay, good, good, good.

Erin Anderson:

Right. I’m a matchmaker. And then I’d probably put professional mortar for sure as number three. Just because that would kill my energy for the rest of the day. Wouldn’t be worth the money for me.

Jared Correia:

Yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it. So professional cuddler comes in at number two. All right, we’re off to a roaring start. Speaking of roaring, let’s do animal jobs. Segment two. These are all real jobs. Again, dog surfing instructor. Yes, there are people out there who teach dogs to surf reindeer minder. There are people who transport reindeers to Christmas themed events throughout the year. Now, I sound like an asshole because I said reindeers, and we all know the plural is reindeer. And lastly, if you could become an animal, you could also become a military dolphin. What the military dolphins do, they look for mines underwater. Sounds dangerous. So you’ve got dog surfing, instructor, reindeer minder, and military Dolphin. The world is your oyster, as it were. What do you prefer?

Erin Anderson:

Definitely the reindeer. Again, I’d be coordinating,

Jared Correia:

Right? So

Erin Anderson:

Matching the reindeer with the

Jared Correia:

Spot. I’m sensing a theme.

Erin Anderson:

And the last one, as much as I love dolphins, it would have to be the dolphin mine, for sure.

Jared Correia:

Yeah. You don’t want to be trying to sniff out landmines. That doesn’t sound like the best issue of your time.

Erin Anderson:

I stay away from danger and sadness clearly.

Jared Correia:

Yeah, and dolphins can be assholes, which if anyone’s ever seen the Simpsons episode with the dolphin takeover.

Erin Anderson:

Yeah,

Jared Correia:

Like bad news. All right, job set Number three, we’re talking about writing gigs categories as writing gigs. You can be a fortune cookie writer for $55,000 a year. Not bad. You could be an online dating ghost writer, which I personally think would be amazing, but I don’t want to color the results

Erin Anderson:

You want to influence.

Jared Correia:

And then number three is greeting card author. So you just write the greeting cards, perhaps even shoebox. Greetings. So we’ve got fortune cookie writer, online dating, ghost writer and greeting card author. What do you like?

Erin Anderson:

Honestly, I love all of these. I’m a writer and I was an English teaching undergrad. They can all be one. This is a hard one for me.

Jared Correia:

You can take ’em all if you want. No going to force you to make a choice. That’s what we do here.

Erin Anderson:

Alright. I think the online dating coach would be the most interesting. There’d be a lot of change. And I’m less creative, so I wouldn’t have to come up with something. I would more keep it going.

Jared Correia:

And

Erin Anderson:

Then the least would be greeting card, because I think it would just be too repetitive. I like change

Jared Correia:

Great choices. All right. This has been fun. There’s only two more, sadly. Category number three is food related jobs.

Erin Anderson:

Okay?

Jared Correia:

Job number one, professional ice sculptor, get to use a chainsaw. Job number two is a master, which is actually a real job that you get paid money for. We mix flavors together, so food tastes the way it’s supposed to taste. And then the last job is egg peeler. There are actually restaurants that hire people to simply peel eggs. That’s their entire job. So would you prefer to be a professional ice sculptor, a master, and just a remind you get a little tag probably for your white lab coat that says master flavorist or an egg peeler.

Erin Anderson:

I would say flavorist number one,

Jared Correia:

Good choice.

Erin Anderson:

Definitely like taste testing. And then number three would have to be the egg peeler. It couldn’t deal with the smell.

Jared Correia:

That sounds horrible.

Erin Anderson:

Awful. And again, like repetitive. I hate things that are the same over and over again.

Jared Correia:

Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. The last category, we’re almost at the end here. We’re doing potpourri, just random jobs as I found online. I dunno if you’re going to like these, but I’m interested in your opinion regardless. Picture hanging specialist, an actual job that you get paid for, usually by museums,

Erin Anderson:

Because

Jared Correia:

Obviously those are valuable paintings and that pays in some cases as much as $150,000 a year. Not bad. Next pine cone harvester. Yes. You go out in the woods and you find pine cones and they pay you $35 for a five gallon bucket, which sounds like a lot of fucking work. And I don’t know if that’s like weight or space.

Erin Anderson:

Right? It sounds like potential back issues.

Jared Correia:

Right? Right. Well, maybe they give you one of those little pinchy things that you can reach out and grab it with. And the last job is drying paint watcher. You’ve heard the expression boring is watching paint dry. There are actually people whose job it is to watch paint dry, to see how it dries, to see whether it drips. That’s a real job. So in the popery category, we have picture hanging specialist, pine cone harvester or drying paint watcher. What do you like?

Erin Anderson:

Picture hanging definitely comes in at number one. It’s close second, I’d have to say pine cone harvester, because I don’t really know ’em though. Are they going to give me a tool to pick it up? What’s the deal? And then I’m not really getting compensated.

Jared Correia:

Well, I feel like there’s some room for improvement in that job. I feel if you just suggested like, Hey, can I use something to poke at the pine cones or grab them so I don’t have to bend

Erin Anderson:

Over constantly? Yeah. Is there a tractor? Yeah. What’s the situation?

Jared Correia:

So if you are a pine cone harvester, we’d love to talk to you. So come on, Erin. Thank you. Really fun show. You are a great guest. We had a lot of fun with the rump roast as always. So thanks for coming on and we’ll hopefully have you back one day too.

Erin Anderson:

Great. Thanks for having me.

Jared Correia:

If you want to find out more about Erin Andersen and her work at your brand Networker, LLC, simply search her up on LinkedIn. Remember, that’s Andersen with an EN at the end, the Dutch Way. Now for those of you listening in Cooperstown, New York, we’ve got a rousing baseball themed Spotify playlist for you all to enjoy. Put me in Coach. Sadly, I’ve run out of time today to talk about the first Red Sox dynasty encompassing 1903 to 1918. But trust me, it was pretty sweet. This is Jared Correia reminding you that the Yankees still suck. Ha.

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