Jared’s got a long list of how law firms’ poorly manage documents, and, well, maybe you’re no better. Tune in for his advice on how to manage your law firm files the right way. (1:44)
Next, Kara Vaval seriously debunks the myth that lawyers have to choose career over family, sharing how her unique life experiences motivated her to overhaul her goals and create a flexible, lucrative legal career. (9:34)
And, finally, lots of crazy shit happens in Florida, so Jared turned the “Florida Man” meme into a game! Find out whether Kara can tell which news stories actually feature a true “Florida Man.” (31:30)
Kara Vaval is an author, keynote speaker, business development coach, and the President of Vaval Law, a personal injury law firm. Check out Jared’s recent appearance on Kara’s podcast here.
Since we shouted out our peeps in Christmas, Florida, we figure maybe it’s time for some Christmas in July. So here’s our early Christmas list!
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The music for the Legal Trends Report Minute is I See You by Sounds Like Sander.
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Special thanks to our sponsors TimeSolv, Clio, Scorpion, and Alert Communications.
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Jared Correia: I’d like to take a moment to thank my mom for listening to every episode. Now my mom is the real reason you’re listening to this show right now but the sponsors have a little something to do with it as well so I’d like to thank our sponsors too. Clio, Alert Communications, Scorpion, TimeSolv.
Now more than ever, an effective marketing strategy is one of the most important things your law firm can have and Scorpion can help. With nearly 20 years of experience serving legal industry, Scorpion has proven methods to help you get the high value cases you deserve. Join thousands of attorneys across the country who have turned to Scorpion for effective marketing and technology solutions. For a better way to grow your practice, visit scorpionlegal.com.
Male: It’s a Legal Toolkit with Jared Correia with guest, Kara Vaval, a round of what would Florida man do and then though nobody asked for it and we’re late to the game even we’re debuting a clubhouse clone. But first, your host Jared Correia!
Jared Correia: The Legal Toolkit podcast, it melts in your ears not in your hands. Wow! That’s fucking gross. Yes I’m your host, Jared Correia. Bud Collyer was unavailable so you’re stuck with me. I’m the CEO of Red Cave Law Firm Consulting, a business management consulting service for attorneys. Find us online at www.redcavelegal.com. I’m also the CEO of Gideon Software, Inc. We build chat bots so law firms can convert more leads. You can find out more about Gideon at www.gideon.legal.
Before we get to our interview today with Kara Vaval, the Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer who is the principal at Vaval Law, I want to talk about something I filed away for a rainy day; law firm document management. I used to watch this show called American Pickers on History Channel a lot. I love that show. I even went to their store, Antique Archaeology in Iowa, one time. I mean I didn’t make a special trip. I’m not that much of a loser. My wife has family out there but it was a cool spot. I still have the t-shirt actually. Anyway the show follows these two guys around, Mike the skinny one and Frank the fat one. They’re kind of like a Laurel and Hardy thing and they travel around the country looking to buy valuable antiques. So they buy them and then they resell them. So people buy this stuff for decorations or to fix old cars and motorcycles when the original parts aren’t available.
One episode, they go to this guy’s farm and old time farmer got stuff all over the property wall to wall in these old outbuildings, machine sheds and barns and they’re looking for like a fender from an old Studebaker or something like that. And the guy says, “Well I’m not sure if I have that when they ask.” He says, “My filing system is fantastic but my retrieval system sucks.” And this reminds me of just about every law firm I’ve ever spoken to. Ah yes, the system that isn’t actually a system as it turns out. A lot of law firms, and that includes large law firms by the way as well as small, have their documents stored in all kinds of places. Let me tell you, I’ve seen some shit.
I had a law firm that had a shed on a riverbank where they stored paper documents. A river bank you ask? Yes. Kind of an odd place to be storing paper documents. I once knew a guy who bought an old convenience store for the express purpose of removing everything in the store to store the law firm documents inside. I’ve seen people storing legal documents in the backseat of an old Volkswagen. Maybe that’s something the American Pickers would be interested in. I’ve actually seen a legal document on a street corner. Well that last one was unintentional but yes, one time somebody called me because they found a red weld on a street corner in Worcester Massachusetts and I tracked down the law firm that owned it. I was kind of a dick about it though. I called and then I was like, “Hey, do you have the Jones file?” And then I waited 20 minutes while they feverishly looked for the files and they said, “Yes, do you have questions on it?” And I said, “You don’t have the Jones file. It’s in my hands right now.” I’m kind of an asshole.
But those are the stories that make attorneys sweat profusely and yet, and yet law firms are still making the same mistakes over and over and over again when it comes to file management. Since the mid-2010s, since the early 2010s, since the late 2000s, it’s like OTTs I guess you would call that. What are they doing? Well they’re dragging their feet on developing a paperless system. Yes even now in 2021, even after a pandemic, that’s still true.
They’re sticking with servers and premise-based software which makes it difficult for virtual staff to access documents for law firms to share documents, files or folders internally or with clients. They’re also avoiding the application of naming conventions across the firm because some geriatric lawyer won’t do it. They’re not creating and managing a data security program which would include coverage of case files and documents. They’re not using e-signatures. And as I mentioned before, they’re storing documents in a bunch of different places.
I mentioned some of the physical places before but I didn’t include like Iron Mountain and places like that where you would store paper documents. Those are safer but still ultra-expensive and there is really no need for it. Any paper document you have, the electronic file is just as viable and as a lawyer, you don’t need to keep your files forever. There are ethics rules surrounding that topic and really, you only need to keep most of your files, the vast majority of your files six to seven years. But employers never throw away their paper.
So if I’m thinking of a law firm that’s got even a paper-based electronic system for managing files or at least part of one, those documents are still widely distributed as well. Average law firm I go into, they’ve got documents stored at like five to eight to 10 different places. Think of the places where documents live in your law firm. Maybe you got some on your C drive. Maybe you got some on your My Documents folder. Maybe you got some on Google Drive. Maybe you got some in OneDrive. Maybe you got some in Box. Maybe you got some in Dropbox. Maybe somewhere in your case management software. Maybe some are in email attachments organized by subfolders. Wow! That escalated quickly. But you see where I’m getting at here. That’s a long list. It’ll be longer if I went on but I don’t want to torture you.
Now, each of those document management issues on its own, that full list I referenced before, that’s a significant task for any law firm taken on their own. And if you’re a law firm that checks all those boxes of document disorganization, that’s probably pretty jarring. But you shouldn’t respond in the way that most law firms do which is to become overwhelmed and just do nothing. Instead, take one step in the right direction. What’s the first step? It’s probably the easiest one which is selecting one. One I say single hosting area, repository, source of truth, call it what you will for all your legal documents. And I frankly don’t give a shit which one you choose, if it’s Google Drive, OneDrive, Dropbox, Box, something I never even heard of. Don’t care, pick one, save all of your stuff there. You’re going to save so much time and effort. You’re going to be more efficient in your internal dealings with staff, your external dealings with clients.
Now it’s going to be a pain in the ass to bulk upload and transfer those documents, I guarantee you that. You’re going to be cursing my name the next weekend when you do it but it will all be worth it in the end for the efficiency upgrades. Remember, the efficient law firms make the most money. You can find out more about that topic at the Clio Legal Trends Report. But wait, that’s a segue to the next part of the show. Now, before we talk to our guest, Kara Vaval, the Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer, let’s hear from my daughter about what she thinks it’s like to be a lawyer.
Daughter: They have a boring job.
Jared Correia: Let’s see what the Clio Legal Trends Report has to say about that. It’s time for the Clio Legal Trends Report minute everybody!
Joshua Lenon: According to research from the World Justice Project, 77% of legal problems do not receive any legal support. It’s a damning figure since it tells us that the legal industry has a problem connecting the people who have legal issues to the lawyers who can help. I’m Joshua Lenon, Lawyer in Residence at Clio.
There’s an opportunity for lawyers to help bridge the gap with clients earning more business while doing good things to help the people that need it. New research shows that being flexible about how you get paid can ultimately mean getting paid more in the long run. In doing so, you could be opening up your services to more clients and avoid missing out on earnings. To learn more about these opportunities and much more for free, download Clio’s Legal Trends Report at clio.com/trends. That’s Clio spelled C-L-I-O.
Jared Correia: Okay everybody, it’s about time to get to the gator tale in the middle of this deep fried breading. Let’s interview our guest. My guest today is Kara Vaval who is the principal of Aval Law. Yeah, I can actually say it. And also the Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer and she hosts a podcast of the same name. Kara, welcome to the show!
Kara Vaval: Thank you so much for having me I’m so excited to be on.
The energy already on this is fire so I’m excited, yes!
Jared Correia: I went on your podcast. We had a great time so I thought we would do this one. Yes. What I wanted to talk to you about during the interview segment is I think you’ve had a really interesting pathway into law and practicing law. You started out selling Mary Kay cosmetics, right?
Kara Vaval: Yep. Yep, I did. I actually graduated law school. I sat for the bar. You know I graduated the regular for a three-year program in May, sat for the July bar and my bar results were set to come out in September as you know. And in August, I found out that I had passed a pregnancy test which was — that’s exactly what you do as a lawyer.
Jared Correia: I like how you put it. You’re like, I passed, not the bar exam but a pregnancy test. Well congratulations!
Kara Vaval: Well, thank you! And then so what happened was I couldn’t tell my boss. I had gotten a job out of law school.
Jared Correia: You already had the legal job?
Kara Vaval: I had the job because I had clerked with an attorney my last semester in law school and so, I had that lined up. It was a securities litigation and I couldn’t even tell him that I found out that I was pregnant because I didn’t know if I told him if I was going to lose the job or whatever. So I hid it for a little bit until I was able to tell him and then the attitude completely changed. It went from like super excited to have me on board to like I would draft motions, he would throw the paper back at me like, “Did you even go to law school? Who wrote this?” Just really breaking my balls like for real for real, right?
And so, I was miserable. I didn’t want to go to work there. He didn’t want me there but I couldn’t quit. Sally may wanted her money back. Now she’s (00:11:52). She was Sally Mae and so, I worked for him for the following nine months but really did not want to go back to work after I had my son. I had maternity leave lined up for six weeks unpaid. Of course because that’s how you do it. And then my savings were running out about three months because I asked for additional time and I swear to god. When my back’s against the wall, the only thing I know how to do is pray. I literally prayed. I was like god seriously like I cannot put this kid in daycare. He was still this little nugget. I had all these ambitions.
Oh my god. It’s like you go to law school, you do all this stuff, I’m going to make partner this and that and then I have a kid and it’s like, “Oh I shouldn’t be a mom.” And I’m like I already have the law degree. I already have the license. I can always do this. I don’t have to miss out on my life in order to do that. And so, my honest answer to prayer came in the form of a woman who walked up to me at a local Target and offered me a facial with Mary Kay cosmetics.
Jared Correia: All the best things happen at Target.
Kara Vaval: At Target, I’m telling you. I swear. So I go, I meet her, she came to my house like a day later to do this thing and I’m looking at this woman. She was an architect who was doing this full time and I’m like how do you make money with this? Like what are you selling? Like how does this work? And so, she told me. She says, “This is how it works et cetera.” By the time we were done, I was a Mary Kay consultant. I bought a starter kit for a hundred bucks and I say all the time I bought my freedom for a hundred dollars because that was my beginnings in entrepreneurship.
Jared Correia: Right and that’s the key point you make right because when you’re a lawyer working for somebody else, you’re not an entrepreneur. You’re just doing work.
Kara Vaval: You’re just working and you’re making somebody else wealthy. You’re making somebody else’s dream come true.
Jared Correia: The important part of that is someone else is not you.
Kara Vaval: Correct, exactly! And so, I just started selling this stuff and I was just looking at the business model and it made sense. It was a work from home. You pretty much service your clients in the comfort of their home or in the comfort of your home and people just bought the product. So I was like well, why couldn’t we do that with my service? I can just, I could host like a law firm party because it’s like Mary Kay parties, right? And so anyways, I just started copying and pasting what I was doing in that world and setting up the law firm and I used the money I was making from my profits from selling the face creams and the lipsticks and I funded the law firm and the overhead was always so low because it was always virtual. I got the office to collect my mail from a sweet 1000 for $49 a month. It’s like everybody had sweet 1000 but who cares, right? It looked professional on my card.
Jared Correia: Right. It’s a downtown address, right? I’m good.
Kara Vaval: Yeah, man and I’m telling you, I remember rolling in. I paid $25 for the offer of my first case. I had my intake with this new person. I roll into my virtual office and I paid 25 bucks for the office. I literally had my family picture and my card holder in my little rolly bag from law school and I set that up on the desk as if it had been mine. I was like two seconds away from hanging my diploma but I thought it was going to be a little too much, right?
Jared Correia: You don’t want to go overboard.
Kara Vaval: I didn’t want to put a hole in their wall. And so, I did that and I had my manila folder with my intake. I did the retainer, the guy signed it and it was some credit card defense like some case and he gave me $1,500. And when he walked out of the office, I was looking out the window to make sure he left the parking lot before I packed up my whole office, right to move out. And so as soon as he was gone, I was like all right, took the check, took everything and went back home to work and to work up the case and I was like, “Oh my god, somebody actually gave me money to do this” and I never stopped. Twelve years later, I’ve done the seven figure jury verdict all of that just from home and I never missed anything. My son’s now 12, my daughter is seven and I didn’t miss a thing. And so, I’m really here to debunk this idea that you have to pick career over family because it’s bullshit. It’s really not true.
Jared Correia: Yeah. I think that’s been a problem with the legal industry for years. And it’s funny, when you talk to me about like being pregnant working for a lawyer, I’m imagining you like standing behind a vase so he can’t tell and like handing documents over and stuff like that which is sad.
Kara Vaval: Yeah.
Jared Correia: I mean it’s so sad that people and I think like — so I bet when people, when I mentioned that you had done the Mary Kay thing, I bet a lot of people thought like, “Oh you did Mary Kay to get yourself through law school” but you were actually a practicing lawyer when you did that.
Kara Vaval: I was a licensed bar attorney.
Jared Correia: I’ll tell you that takes a lot of balls to do because not everybody’s going to do that. A lot of people who are lawyers are just like, “I’m a lawyer, I got to go be a lawyer now no matter how much it sucks.” But you tried something different and it led you back to law practice anyway.
Kara Vaval: I will tell you the benefit I’ve had I think growing up the way I grew up because my life was just like crazy is I had the benefit of really never giving a shit what people thought about what I was doing. I was like unless you’re cutting me a check for my bills, your opinion really is not something that I will consider.
Jared Correia: Yeah, but that’s a rare trait for most attorneys I will tell you.
Kara Vaval: You know I remember when my mom, my mom was like kind of embarrassed like her daughter’s going to sell lipstick and she was like bragging that; her daughter was an attorney. And I was like ma, I hear you but unless you’re coming down here and paying these bills for me or taking care of this kid, like I really, I appreciate your opinion but like everybody has one. Like they say, assholes. Everybody has an opinion and I can’t run my life which is my enterprise. This is me, my life. I’m running this show. I’m running this business that’s called Kara’s life and I cannot.
Jared Correia: I’m waiting for the show on Broadway. You let me know when that drops.
Kara Vaval: I will definitely. And so, I cannot have someone else’s thoughts on what that should look like have any impact because it really, I know what’s good for me, I know what’s good for my — and I know that when I was waking up working for this guy and driving there, how purely like miserable. I was miserable going there and I’m like I went to work my first year and I’m like is this it? Like is this really what I went to school for? Dude, I spent freaking seven years. I paid money I didn’t have and then this is it? You got to be shitting me like come on. Like I made a big mistake, right? I’m like can I just return the degree? Can I get my money back? You know what I mean like please, somebody give me an out! But you know what, my son was the best thing that ever happened because I never would have looked to entrepreneurship to be honest with you.
Jared Correia: Yeah, you probably would have — if you hadn’t had a kid, you probably would have just stuck with that job for like five years right or more.
Kara Vaval: I would have stayed and I would have tried to make partner. I would have done the regular legal track and I would have been miserable. I’d probably be drinking to a stupor right now. And so, yeah and this is actually the truth for a lot of our colleagues out there and that’s one of the main reasons why I am putting so much effort into putting this business model out there making it okay.
I’ve been doing it for 12 years. COVID made it real sexy lately right because everyone went home.
Jared Correia: I will tell you, I’ve been working from home for a while as well and people are like, “Do you hear about Zoom?” And I’m like, I’ve had a zoom account for like 12 years, come on.
Kara Vaval: Yes. You don’t have stocks in Zoom right at this point? Yeah, I’ve been doing this.
Jared Correia: I wear drawstring pants, that’s all I wear.
Kara Vaval: I’ve been doing this forever and you know funny thing is, my clients never had a problem. If anyone ever really looked down on me, it was my colleagues in the legal industry and you know I kind of had imposter syndrome for a little while like am I a real lawyer? But then when I started getting the results I was getting from my clients, I was settling the cases, I was making the money, I was kicking butt as an attorney. I was doing great. I mean I’m still doing great and the reviews were coming and I’m like, wait a minute they got it wrong because some of them had to close because they couldn’t pay their rent, right? And it was when they really didn’t need.
Jared Correia: Yeah, you learn to be an entrepreneur which most attorneys they never get that experience.
Kara Vaval: Yeah. I would never in a million years have done it any different. You give me the same law degree, same situation, I would have gotten pregnant again so I could do it all over again exactly this way because it really has caused me to become so resourceful, so outside the box thinking and that’s how I approach everything that I do including my cases which is great for my clients.
Jared Correia: Right. So was it just about the hustle when you were with Mary Kay and you brought that into the law firm or what other lessons did you learn from that job that you use like on a regular basis? I’m sure there’s a lot of them.
Kara Vaval: Yeah. I think probably the greatest discovery I made about myself in Mary Kay was that I had the gift to inspire and move people with my words. Mary Kay is a big empowerment community, women empowerment and you get into a lot of personal development in Mary Kay. I didn’t find out that I had a subconscious mind until I was 31 years old getting into these kinds of books and realizing that you create your life, you create your reality. That kind of world was never — I was not a part of that. I didn’t know that. I just was going through the motions of life and life was happening to me. And then I realized, oh no life is happening for me. It’s a setup. I was like there’s a plot here you know what I mean. The baby was a plot twist like that started really getting this whole co-creative part that I play in life.
And so, I started really looking at the desires I have and what I really want to do and then they became possibilities not just things that I thought I maybe want to do at one point. Like I wanted to start speaking and motivating people and then I realized well I can do that and it’s not I’m not stopped because I’m an attorney that that’s all I’m going to do. I’m a multifaceted being. I can be anything at any time whenever. And so, it just gave me like room to play and I could be so many different things. Then I wrote my book because when I read all of this stuff, I was like, oh my gosh.
Remember I told you, I’m from Haiti right? Nobody was talking about the subconscious mind in Haiti. It’s not like Tony Robbins is flying and doing conferences down there so I’m like these people need to know and I speak the language and so, I started like putting stuff together to do workshops there and that’s how my book came about. And then I started creating these courses like I just started making use of myself in a much bigger way than just what I went to school for. And Mary Kay definitely I think broke that lid open for me that we kind of put on ourselves with our careers like we’re fixed in that because of the personal development, because of the fact that now I realize that I can be, do and have anything like really anything and it’s really up to me.
Jared Correia: Yeah, I love this. I think a lot of lawyers think of themselves as lawyers and they define themselves by that. But we’re all humans doing different things; law and other stuff as well. So let me, last question for you is you’ve also got this thing where you call yourself the Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer.
Nobody steal that. That’s trademarked.
Kara Vaval: It is trademarked.
Jared Correia: So a lot of what you’re talking about like there’s a requirement to be flexible, mobile, virtual so you can spend time with your family, so you can be at the places you want to be and the places you need to be, right? Can you talk a little bit about that before we finish up this segment?
Kara Vaval: Right, absolutely. So I don’t know, can you hear the screams?
Jared Correia: Oh we’re just building that into the show.
Kara Vaval: Okay. So let me tell you what’s going on.
Jared Correia: There are no screams in my place which is very unusual.
Kara Vaval: Okay. So if you can hear, this is exactly what Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer is. This was like on cue. You think I did that. So what you’re hearing is my niece. She’s three. So my sister just flew in from Haiti with her whole family, all four of her children, my two kids. So last year, I was living in an apartment and I had rented this big house in Fort Lauderdale, an Airbnb, and we had a pool and I had promised them that next year, they would come to my house, in my pool house and they would be able to do this.
Jared Correia: Oh you’re visualizing, very nice.
Kara Vaval: I manifested that shit, okay. Closed on my first home by myself okay and my kids, all these kids are now at my house. They’re here for the summer. We’re going to be doing summer like for the next three weeks here partying and just like —
Jared Correia: Can I come down?
Kara Vaval: Yes, come! But you see what I mean?
Jared Correia: Can I leave my kids at home?
Kara Vaval: So when you ask me what does Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer mean, it means that I can have this whole thing happening but I’m still working, I’m still producing, I’m still able to make money but that doesn’t mean I’m not living. I’m living and I’m having a great lifestyle which my law firm provides for because it’s a very lucrative business when you have it set up the right way. I have a very lucrative firm that funds this lifestyle that funded this house that funds all of these projects that I’m engaged in and I’m doing it from the comfort of my home. I’m doing it without missing out on anything. I’m doing it while I take midday workouts and sometimes midday naps, right?
Jared Correia: Now we’re talking.
Kara Vaval: Okay. I think that more people need to understand that being a lawyer and the image that comes with that stiff like super serious like you have to be in the office like that’s outdated. It’s not cool anymore. It’s cool to be able to be a full-time mom and have and to be a full-time career woman or full-time dad or whatever you want however you want to look at it and be able to afford the nicer things and the nicer experiences because the firm is still bringing in major cash.
Jared Correia: See, Evan was going to try to edit out those screams in the background but now I’m going to make him leave him in.
Kara Vaval: No it has to stay in because that’s part of what the whole thing is about. I am home.
Jared Correia: They’re cursing under their breath as we do this.
Kara Vaval: Oh yeah, it’s okay. But this is it. I’m home and my family’s here. Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer. And actually the rest of the day, I’m going to be working by the pool while they’re splashing and my clients are going to get serviced, the calls are going to get returned, the new clients are going to get signed up and they’re all going to be in the pool I’m going to be dipping in and out. So yeah.
Jared Correia: All right, last ques — I said that was the last question, I lied. You’ve got a conference coming up soon I think within a couple days of this podcast release. So why don’t you give me 60 seconds on that?
Kara Vaval: Absolutely. So it’s on July 15th. It’s going to be virtual and it is basically me talking about how to set up your virtual law practice overnight like I did because I set it up overnight with super low overhead, very super low set up. Everyone is going to be walking out of the conference with their firm fully set up and ready to get business. We’re going to be covering different aspects from of course the setup but also positioning yourself in the market so that you can be able to get your clients rolling in and that’s it. It’s going to be a one day event from 10 to 3. I’m going to be really pouring in everything I got, everything I know because ultimately, it’s all about getting the right blueprint right? Copy the right cat. There’s no reason to reinvent the wheel. Do you know that? I’m a copycat. I just find the right cat, I re — and then I just put my spin on it. But I’m not going to — if someone already made the mistakes and already has the shortcut, why not? That’s what I’m giving. They can go to laptoplifestylelawyer.com/virtual-event and sign up.
Jared Correia: Cool.
Kara, this was a lot of fun. Thank you!
Kara Vaval: Yay, me too. I love this! I love this. I live for moments like this.
Jared Correia: Hey, will you stick around for the next segment?
Kara Vaval: Absolutely, I’m down. Let’s do it.
Jared Correia: Okay, that was Kara Vaval everybody. She’s the Laptop Lifestyle Lawyer and the principal of Vaval Law. You can find her hanging out at the pool. But as I mentioned, we’re not finished with Kara quite yet. She’ll be back in a second. We’ll take one final sponsor break so you can hear more about what our sponsors can do for your law practice then, stay tuned for the rump roast. It’s even more supple than the roast beast.
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All right everybody, welcome back! We’re here at the rear-end of the Legal Toolkit, the rump roast. It’s a grab bag of short form topics of my choosing because it’s my show. Today, we’re going to bring back our guest Kara Vaval of Vaval Law to play a game with us. Kara, are you ready?
Kara Vaval: Let’s do it.
Jared Correia: All right. This is a new game just for you. I’m calling it what would Florida man do.
Kara Vaval: Okay.
Jared Correia: So for those unfamiliar with the concept of Florida man, it’s a meme focused on the fact that a lot of crazy shit happens in Florida and reports of that often begin Florida man does something insane. But as it turns out, not all Florida man news stories actually come from Florida. So Kara, your task is to determine which of the following news stories involve an actual man from Florida and which don’t. So you feel like you’re prepared for this?
Kara Vaval: Let’s do it. I got to put my New Yorker hat down and put my Florida bag.
Jared Correia: Full disclosure, I’m totally stealing this bit from Toucher and Rich which is a morning sports radio show out of Boston. They call it the armpits of America. Well let’s not call it stealing. That’s such a harsh word. Let’s call it an homage. Okay. Here’s story number one. Harvey Westmoreland and his brother got involved in a fight with two other men that ended with Westmoreland being forced to eat his own beard. The altercation started when Westmoreland was trying to sell a tractor to one of the men. The men felt like they were being cheated out of the money and the fight started. One thing led to another and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire Westmoreland said. And then, they cut my beard and forced me to eat it he said. So Kara, Florida man or not?
Kara Vaval: No. I don’t think Florida man would make it and no. I wouldn’t think so.
Jared Correia: Would you like to venture a guess? You’re right by the way. Would you like to venture a guess as to which state this news emanated from?
Kara Vaval: That sounds more like maybe Georgia or something.
Jared Correia: All right, you’re getting closer. This has actually happened in Kentucky.
Kara Vaval: Kentucky, okay yeah.
Jared Correia: The home of beard eating apparently. Now story number two, are you ready for story number two?
Kara Vaval: Let’s do it.
Jared Correia: Jonathan Finkel allegedly told 911 dispatchers that he needed a ride to Hooters to help his grandmother who’d gotten sick. It turns out his grandmother wasn’t actually at Hooters and she was not sick so he was arrested on charges of misusing 911. And I say to that, Jonathan Finkel just call an Uber. Kara, is this a Florida man or not?
Kara Vaval: That’s a Florida man.
Jared Correia: Yes! Wow, you’re really good at this. I’m impressed. That is a Florida man. All right, I got three more for you. They’re quick. Story number three, Timothy Kepke 27 years old and his friends caught an alligator with their bare hands and tried to give it some beer to drink. The alligator bit them instead and both men were arrested.
Kara Vaval: Gator, gator town. Yes.
Jared Correia: Florida man, correct.
Kara Vaval: Yes, Florida man.
Jared Correia: Maybe they tried to give the alligator like natty ice or something and the alligator was not having any of that.
Kara Vaval: Right.
Jared Correia: It’s like can you get me a Guinness or anything like that. All right. Kara, I’m impressed. You’re three for three. I think you can probably finish this out. Let’s see if you can go five four five.
Kara Vaval: Let’s see.
Jared Correia: Number four.
Larry McElroy shot at an armadillo in his backyard only because armadillos have an armor like hide. The bullet ricocheted off the armadillo, passed through the back door of his home and he ended up shooting his mother-in-law in the back. She’s fine, the armadillo is fine, Larry’s an idiot. Florida man?
Kara Vaval: No.
Jared Correia: No? Correct. Oh my god. All right. You said Georgia man before right, this actually happened in Georgia.
Kara Vaval: Oh did it? Yeah, okay. That definitely is not a Florida. Armadillo?
Jared Correia: Are there a lot of armadillos?
Kara Vaval: I was thinking more like New Mexico or something.
Jared Correia: I feel like it’s kind of weird that there would be an armadillo in Georgia. Maybe it was like a pet that they bought online.
Kara Vaval: Yeah.
Jared Correia: I think the less we know about this story, the better.
Kara Vaval: The better.
Jared Correia: All right. This is the big one because if you get this, you’re five for five. Story number five. A felon wanted for violation of his probation livestreamed his own arrest on social media. Wait for it while on a Jet Ski. Florida man?
Kara Vaval: Absolutely Florida man.
Jared Correia: Five for five. Five for five.
Kara Vaval: That was great!
Jared Correia: I wish I had a monetary prize to give you but I have nothing other than my eternal respect for having come on the show and put up with me for the last half an hour.
Kara Vaval: That’s awesome. That was fun.
Jared Correia: Now you can tell everybody you went five for five on the Legal Toolkit challenge. Well done.
Kara Vaval: Yes. That’s going to be part — I’m going to put that on my resume.
Jared Correia: Yes, that should be at the top of the resume. Kara, thank you. You were great.
Kara Vaval: Thank you. I had so much fun. This was amazing. Thank you so much for having me on.
Jared Correia: Awesome. You were fantastic. Now, for those of you listening in Christmas Florida where it’s always Christmas I guess, our Spotify playlist for this week’s episode is a collection of some of my favorite Christmas songs because why not? It’s Christmas in July everybody! So as I mentioned, our guest today has been Kara Vaval of Vaval Law. For more information about Kara and Vaval Law, go to vaval-law.com. That’s v-a-v-a-l-l-a-w.com. Also, as we mentioned before, check out laptoplifestylelawyer.com to find out more about Kara’s coaching and to get access to her courses for attorneys including her upcoming live program in a couple days.
Launching new social media services seems to be a thing right now but we’ve run out of time to promote our own version of clubhouse. Maybe next time. And if I get a smartphone between now and then, maybe I’ll finally try the real clubhouse. Oh who the fuck am I kidding, that’s not going to happen. That’ll do it for another episode of Legal Toolkit podcast where fantasy lives. Oh wait, that’s storyland.