The Big 4 Softwares Tools You Need; and Having Fun with Your Marketing Plan, with Cady Darago

Episode Notes

Transcript

[Music]

Male 1:  It’s The Legal Tool Kit with Jared Correia.  With guest, Cady Darago.  A round of Philly Fanatics, and then Jared debuts his standup routine.  Well, not so much standup, more performance art.  Actually, he just cries on stage.  But first, your host, Jared Correia.

Jared Correia:  The Legal Toolkit podcast is upon us.  Shelter in place, everyone.  And yes, it’s still called The Legal Toolkit Podcast, even though I’ve never even used a pedestal sink, slip joint wrench.  Honestly, that name is way too long.  Stupid and horrible.  I’m your host, Jared Correia.  You’re stuck with me because Ricki Lake was unavailable.  She’s probably buying house or something.  I don’t know.

I’m the CEO of Red Cave Law Firm Consulting.  A business management consulting service for attorneys and bar associations.  Find us online at redcavelegal.com.  I’m the CEO of Gideon Software, Inc.  We build chatbots so law firms can convert more leads and conversational document assembly tools.  So law firms can build documents faster and more accurately.  You can find out more about Gideon at gideonlegal.com.

Now before we get to our interview today with Cady Darago, a principal of Principal at ESQuisite Marketing, I wanted to talk to you about legal tech software.  Certainly, an interesting time to be in legal technology and I wanted to talk to you a little bit today about what I call the big four in legal tech software.  Now, I’m not talking about the big four county firms.  I’m talking about the big four, the main four, the top four softwares you want to be using in your law practice.  And this is kind of changed over time for me, as you might expect, because I’ve been at this consulting gig for quite a while now, something like 15 years.  Every day is a joy.  But I think it’s great that of light, there’s been more investment in legal technology than ever before, and that number increases on a year over year basis.  There’s more software products out there than ever before, and there’s bigger players out there that have ever existed, especially in fields like the case management space, where you’ve got lots and lots of providers, lots of choices for lawyers.

So let’s talk about the four softwares you need really to run your law practice.  Now you can and should have others, but these are the four I think almost every law firm should have.  Number one, productivity software.  Now when I say productivity software, sometimes people say to me, “Jared, what does that mean?”  Yeah, productivity software is basically your email.  So email, calendar, and that’s grown over the course of time as well.  It used to be I’d have like Hotmail or AOL.  I guess this is a lawyer audience, so you may still have Hotmail or AOL, but generally speaking, you had like email tool and a calendar, and that was about it.  But over the course of time, those products have added other tools like document drafting tools and spreadsheet tools and note taking tools and document archives, document repositories, CRM features, Team features.

So take Microsoft Office, for example, which is what most lawyers are using for productivity software.  That’s got Microsoft Teams for internal chat, video conferencing, and even phone service.  It’s got OneDrive and SharePoint for document retention.  It’s got Dynamics for CRM.  There’s a ton of stuff in Microsoft Office outside of your standard email and calendar tool, and that’s often underutilized by law firms.  Why do I pick on Microsoft Office because 90% of lawyers, they are using email, are using Microsoft, and if they’re not, they’re using Google; Google Workspace is Google’s productivity software, and you’ve got the same or similar array of features with different names; Google Docs, Google Drive, Google Meet for video conferencing, Google Voice for phone.  There’s a lot of stuff packed in here.

(00:04:59)

If you’re a law firm and you’re using productivity software, I would say if you have not yet moved into the Cloud, please do so force with.  It’ll be more efficient for you.  It’ll save you money and it’ll make your practice more secure in all likelihood.  You could move into Google Workspace; they only have a Cloud option.  And if you’ve got a traditional desktop version of Microsoft, you would be surprised how much Microsoft 365, which is the Cloud-based version of Microsoft looks like the desktop tools.  Trust me, I call it the gateway drug to the Cloud because it’s the tool that most lawyers use and it looks very similar to what you’re experiencing right now.  So probably number one, you need productivity software.

Now, before you go out and buy other stuff, think about what’s available in your productivity software.  Now you may not want to use like Microsoft Teams for video conferencing, because maybe you prefer Zoom or something else.  That’s totally cool.  You can use that product instead, but before you buy something like that, look in your productivity software and see what we have available to you next.

Number two of the big four, case management software or law practice management software.  This is essentially a relational database to help you manage your practice.  You’ve got things organized by cases or matter and every item related to that case or matter, you can click on the case or matter, see all the items in chronological order from start to finish.  Now, the reason I stopped practicing law primarily was because we had these stupid case review meetings like every Saturday morning.  And I was like, “Fuck, I got better stuff to do on a Saturday morning.  Scooby Doo is on.  I want to sleep in.  I don’t want to be doing these like case meetings.”  And a case management software obviates the need for that.  Click on a case, you see what’s due.  You see what’s been done.  You see when the case is going to close.  You don’t need to do anything more.  You don’t need to go through files as he was having on a case.  You get instantaneous updates, including for what people are doing within your firm.  So I get a lot of lawyers to say it’s all good, but I do that through email, but you fucking don’t.  What you do in email is you organize emails via subfolders.  That’s not a relational database.  Literally, the only thing you’re doing there is organizing your email.  You’re not organizing your documents.  That’s another silo.  You’re not organizing time and billing information that doesn’t exist in productivity software.  You’re missing serious components for a law practice management tool in email.  So you can’t do this via email.  And I hope at this point, I’m kind of preaching to the choir a little bit because I think hopefully by 2022, every law firm has at least looked at law practice management software and either bought it or rejected it.  That’s number two, number.

Number three, accounting software.  It’s probably the easiest one for lawyers to manage because they don’t like to touch accounting software.  Lawyers do not like math, myself included.  I took federal income tax in law school and I think I got like, a D.  Never got a D in anything in my life outside of that, but I don’t understand anything about taxes or finances and math.  I think this is true of most lawyers.  Makes me think of the Gerald Ford’s kit on Saturday Night Live when Chevy Chase is playing Gerald Ford and he’s sitting in the presidential debate and he was like, “I was told there will be no math.”  Yes, I was told there would be no math also.  I was lied too.  There’s some math in legal, but you can avoid most of the financial stuff by hiring a bookkeeper or hiring an accountant and having them use an accounting software.  The most popular one is QuickBooks.  Probably 95% of lawyers use that.  Xero, X-E-R-O, Xero is another popular tool that was built by people from Intuit.  We’re like “QuickBooks is not quite easy enough to use.”  And what’s great is that if you’re in the Cloud for Microsoft 365 or Google Workspace, if you’re in the Cloud for a case management software like one of our sponsors, Clio.

If you’re in the Cloud for your accounting software like QuickBooks online or Xero, which is only Cloud-based, you’re going to be able to connect these software’s together, which is phenomenal.  So you can trade data back and forth.  That means that you can use something like a case management software to aggregate the data across your entire practice.  And as far as the accounting stuff is concerned, push the data on expenses, time capture, billing to your accounting program, and let your accountant, bookkeeper, CPA take care of the rest.

Number four, the fourth software, which has been a recent addition up until probably four or five years ago.  I would have said there was a big three.  Now there’s a big four, and a lot of that was driven by the pandemic.  You’ll remember the pandemic.  That was wonderful.  Number four is CRM customer relationship management software.  So a customer relationship management software is functioning lead management software.  All the stuff I talked about before, this is client management software for the most part.

(00:10:02)

How do you manage your clients once you get them?  But how do you get your clients?  How do you manage that process?  The answer is mostly that it didn’t exist in law firms.  So there are heavy duty, costly, feature rich CRMs like Salesforce and HubSpot, which you may have heard of, but you’re starting to see some law specific, legal specific CRMs being created, like Lawmatics and Clio Grow and Lead Docket from Filevine.  There are a bunch of CRM tools out there, but the idea is you create a pipeline, client journey, intake strategy for how Lee(ph) becomes a client of the law firm.

So what are the things you need to do?  You need to take money from people.  Great, you got e-payments for that.  You need to schedule appointments with people.  Great, you’ve got automatic countering tools for that.  You need to get a signature on a document.  Fantastic, you have an e-signature tool that does that.  Perfect.  Now get a CRM, setup a pipeline, client journey, and attach those tasks to that pipeline.  You can use an individual person at your firm to manage this manually through the CRM, or you could automate this using the automated workflows that are available in some of those systems.  Now you’re talking because you’re pushing out all this effort to a system, a software, a piece of technology, rather than in-person.  Saving money, being more efficient, adding clients.  I’ll tell you, like a lot of law firms are managing intake using spreadsheets.  A lot of lawyers are relying on their memory to call people back.  It’s not going to happen.  You’re just letting money flow down the drain.  So with the CRM, you can recapture more of that revenue by managing and converting more leads.

Now, this is all together, you’ve got lead management, you’ve got matter management, you’ve got communication platform, and you’ve got an accounting software.  Who’s better than you?  Now, before we get to our marketing discussion with the one and only Cady Darago of ESQuisite, let’s pass the baton to old friend Joshua Lennon who has for you this week’s edition of the Clio Legal Trends Report.

Joshua Lennon:  Ever wonder how other law firms spend their money?  According to 67% of lawyers, legal practice management software is a key investment.  I’m Joshua Lennon, lawyer in residence at Clio and this is just one finding from our recent Legal Trends Report.  If you rely on pen and paper or server-based systems to manage your practice, you may be missing out on billables.  Instead of printing and mailing your bills, the right legal software lets you create, edit and approve bills in minutes.  Plus you can send them electronically and collect payment on the same day.  This is just one of the ways in which legal practice management software can simplify your day to day.  To learn more about what technologies other law firms are investing in, download Clio’s Legal Trends Report for free at clio.com/trends.  That’s Clio spelled C-L-I-O.com/trends.

Jared Correia:  All right, let’s slap some cheese whiz on this cheesesteak.  It’s time to interview our guest.  My guest today is Cady Darago.  She is a Principal at ESQuisite Marketing.  E-S-Q-uisite Marketing.  Cady, welcome to the show.

Cady Darago:  Thank you.  I’m happy to be here.

Jared Correia:  So you’re a marketing person.

Cady Darago:  I am.

Jared Correia:  Let’s talk about marketing.  But first, I want to talk about bio pages on websites, particularly yours.  What I like about the bio page on your website is you have one of my favorite quotes from Office Space on there.  One of the best cult films ever.  Can you talk about that why you chose to add that to your site?  I think lawyers should be doing this as well.

Cady Darago:  So I actually added it because one of the attorneys that I worked with years ago at this point said that to me.  He’s like, “You are just the person who gets shit done.”  He’s like, “You just do it.”  That was instantly what I thought of was Office Space and when I launched ESQuisite and had to write my own copy for my web bio, I was like, “Yeah, I’m going to pull in some Office Space right now.  I’m going to make this happen.”

Jared Correia:  And the quote, would you like to state the quote.  I can as well because it’s a great scene from Office Space.

Cady Darago:  No, you go ahead and say it because I don’t have it in front of me. 

Jared Correia:  So basically, like, Peter, who’s the main character of Office Space is being interviewed about his job, and he doesn’t really care about his job at that point, he’s basically done.  And they say, “What is it that you do here?”  And you’re the person who gets shit done, so that’s pretty good.

(00:15:01)

Cady Darago:  Yeah.

Jared Correia:  I love when people do unique things with their bio pages, and I think yours is great.  People should go take a look at it.

Cady Darago:  Thanks you.

Jared Correia:  So you mentioned this.  One thing that’s interesting is, like you were working at a law firm previously, and then you started a business like working as a vendor for law firms, which is an interesting transition to make.  And if I’ve got this correct, you are working in marketing, you are not a pricing attorney yourself, and lawyers can be kind of dick-ish, let’s say, when we’ve got, like, lawyers and non-lawyers.  So, like, if you’re not a lawyer in a law firm, lawyers can look down on you, right?  And now you’re shifting out of the business and now you’re a vendor and you’re treated differently.  I think it’s a tough change to make, so how did you manage that in terms of working for lawyers and then working with lawyers?

Cady Darago:  So really, as a non-lawyer in a law firm, some people once they got to know my story that I wanted to go to law school, I took my LSATs, I submitted applications to law schools and before I decided to incur all that debt, I went and worked in a law firm first to make sure that it was actually what I wanted to do.  Once I heard that story then they kind of started to respect me a little bit more and because I’ve been just about everything in a law firm except an attorney, I’ve been receptionist legal assistant, got my paralegal certificate, I worked in the accounting department, reconciling trust accounts like I’ve done so much stuff in—

Jared Correia:  You’ve done a bunch of stuff, yeah.

Cady Darago:  A bunch of stuff in a law firm and the whole reason why I stick with laws because I genuinely love it.  I was a criminal justice and political science major and being in the marketing department allowed me to stay on top of trends in the law and in law firms and things that we’re developing.  One of my favorite things to do is do a client alert when the law changes like take the law and write it for the people who it’s going to apply to in plain English.

Jared Correia:  (00:17:20) with that.

Cady Darago:  Yes, but that’s why you’re good at what you do and I’m good at what I do.  It’s a good system and now that I’m in this space, people respect that I worked in a huge law firm with a ton of personalities, like that is one of the biggest attributes that my clients say “Well, you can handle just about anything then.”

Jared Correia:  Right, so you turn that to your advantage for sure.  Yeah, whenever somebody talks to me and they’re like, “Yeah, I didn’t actually go to law school” or “I didn’t pursue legal as a career.”  I’m like “Well-played, ” because I went to law school, and while it is good to a certain extent, it is highly overrated.  Let’s talk a little bit about what you do with lawyers, because one of the things I know you do is you help lawyers develop marketing plans, and most of the firms I talked to, their marketing plan is like, “Let’s do some shit we’ve done before because it seems to have worked, although we have no data or information to back that up.”  Is that your experience as well and then how do you build a plan off of that?  Like, how do you establish a baseline and then go from there?

Cady Darago:  Well, what I feel like a lot of law firms do is they develop a marketing plan and they kind of half-assed and then the plan itself sits on a shelf.  They don’t look to see if there’s any actual ROI from it at all, and I coined myself, attorneys get to have Esq after their name.  I coined myself the PN for professional nudge (ph), because I nudge you to make sure that your marketing is getting done, because you said it recently that if you are not an active participant in the process, it’s not going to work.

Jared Correia:  For sure, yeah.

Cady Darago:  So we work with entrepreneurial attorneys who run their firms like a business, who understand that marketing is needed, who know that they need professional help with marketing, even if they’re interested in it and want to be super involved in it, they know that they need a professional to keep the ball moving forward, because I don’t care if you are all hands-on deck with marketing, but if you get slapped into a Trial, your marketing is going to stop if you’re the only person in charge of it.

Jared Correia:  Oh, for sure, and I do like to rag on lawyers, myself included, but without a doubt that lawyers are really high achievers.

Cady Darago:  Yes.

Jared Correia:  And people who are high achievers like that, like top of their profession, I think they feel like I can do everything well.

(00:20:04)

I can market well, and that’s true.  You can market well, but you don’t necessarily have the time to do it, and the other consideration is that maybe better for you to spend your time doing other things, like substantive work and making more money.

Cady Darago:  By billing your hours.

Jared Correia:  Right.  So I think it’s great that you work with folks who understand that.  And then I think the other thing you brought up which is super important, is like this consistency aspect, like you see a lot of lawyers who market and then disappear in the market and then disappear, and it’s because they’ve dipped back into substantive work.  So having somebody to be a nudge to them is really helpful.

Cady Darago:  Yeah.  And the thing that I think we do best is we help manage expectations.  So much like a personal injury lawyer needs to manage the expectations of their client on what kind of settlement or award they’ll receive based on the accident that they’ve had.  We manage our attorney’s expectations.  You can’t start a blog today and blog three times a year and expect it to be a revenue generator.  Just like you can’t do one presentation and not follow-up with anybody who attended or who wasn’t able to make it and expect five phone calls and new work.

Jared Correia:  Yeah.  My wife makes fun of me for using Facebook because I’m on Facebook, like once a year and then I’ll like everything for two hours, and then I won’t use Facebook again until next year.  And that’s how a lot of lawyers’ market.  I did marketing today and I published nine blog posts.  Now I’m taking the next seven months off.  I’m sure you see that a lot.

Cady Darago:  Yeah, absolutely.  One of the things that I like to remind attorneys of and anybody who’s doing marketing is that you don’t even have to be an attorney, but stuff doesn’t pay off immediately all the time.  One of our biggest and best clients that we received called us two years after they saw Ed present at a solo and small firm, CLE in New Jersey, I think in Monmouth County or something.  He called us two years after that presentation and he said, “I have had your handout on my cork board for two years and I’m making the call.”  And now he’s our best, like I love working with him.  He’s one of my favorites.

Jared Correia:  Yeah.  The sales cycle is long for lawyers.  Shouts to Monmouth, New Jersey, by the way.  I think I saw a dead monkey on the side of the road there, one time, but I digress.  Let’s talk about niche practices.

Cady Darago:  Yeah.

Jared Correia:  Because I know you work with niche practices, and niche practices are great, not just in legal, but any business.  The more you niche down, less competition you have, the more direct you can be in terms of talking about your services.  A lot of law firms have trouble doing the niche practice thing because they always feel like they’re leaving work.  I don’t know about you, but like every law firm I’ve ever talked to, they’ve kind of been like, “We’re out there in the world marketing and our intention is to get every possible client,” and to have a niche practice, you got to think about targeted clients.  So how do you work with niche practices and how does that change the way they market?

Cady Darago:  So what I tell my attorneys about niche marketing is that you can’t be all things to all people because everybody’s looking for an expert, right?  Hiring a lawyer is a high involvement decision.  You want the person who appears to be the best for that specific problem, and that’s going to be your guy, right?  I market strictly to lawyers and law firms, but only 70% of my clients are lawyers and law firms because other people who need marketing services who also want to get in front of lawyers and law firms are hiring me.  So just because you’re the craft beer attorney, getting liquor licenses and helping, your brewery clients, manage all of that stuff doesn’t mean that you can’t also handle their employment law or their buddy’s employment law if you are well-versed in employment law.

Basically, your niche is what you pushout into the universe for your marketing, but all of the relationships that you have, your business development that doesn’t need to solely focus on your niche.

Jared Correia:  I think you make a good point, which is that just because you have a niche practice doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t take on other work or people won’t look to you for doing other work.  That’s an important point to make.  I want to talk to you about one more thing.  We’re in the lightning round now.

Cady Darago:  Okay.

Jared Correia:  Let’s do, like one minute on your pitch for why law firms should be using CRM software, because I don’t think enough of them do.

Cady Darago:  Okay, so I have a newsletter going out on Tuesday, and the headline –

Jared Correia:  I’m in your head.

Cady Darago:  The headline for it is, “Enough of this sheet because I’m tired of law firms using spreadsheets for their CRM systems.”

(00:25:08)

Like enough of this sheet people.  Your CRM system is your inventory of relationships, and if you are a great attorney, you have a ton of relationships with people who are existing clients, past clients, vendors, referral sources, your fraternity or sorority, family.  All of those people should be in your CRM system because those are the people who you need to keep top of mind, who know where you are, what you do, and how to get in touch with you.  And having those people in there makes all the difference in the world, and I don’t care what anyone says if you are actively updating your CRM system every time that you talk to a client and you can put in there that their dog had surgery or their mom had COVID, whatever.  And then the next time you talk to them, you could be like, “Hey, the last time I talked to you, your dog had surgery.  How’s it going?”

That makes you seem like the most genuine human being ever which news flash is not the reputation most lawyers have, and it takes virtually no time.  You can update it while you’re on the phone with the client.  How many times have you said, “Oh, my gosh, so and so, he introduced me to that guy who does this thing,” and you can’t remember their information and you won’t even know where to begin finding it.  So you’re doing a search in Outlook, which is awful.  Meanwhile, you could have a CRM system that says photographer or is connected to Jared.  Jared introduced me to that guy who does really good sound for his podcast.  What was that guy’s name?  I don’t know, but I can look up everybody in my CRM connected to you.

Jared Correia:  You called it like an inventory of relationships, I think, right?  I love chronology.  That’s a great way to put it.  So everybody out there should get a CRM if you’re listening to his podcast.

Cady Darago:  Everybody out there should get a CRM and you should have everyone in your CRM.  I have a plethora of content on this topic on my website and on my LinkedIn profile file as well.

Jared Correia:  Those are great rant on CRM.  Will you stick around for the next segment?  I hope you will.

Cady Darago:  Yes, I will.

Jared Correia:  Okay, we’ll take one final sponsor break, so you can hear more about what our sponsors can do for your law practice.  Then stay tuned for the rump roast.  It’s even more supple than the roast beast.

Male 2:  As the largest legal only call center in the U.S., Alert Communications helps law firms and legal marketing agencies with new client intake.  Alert captures a response to all leads 24/7, 365 as an extension of your firm in both Spanish and English.  Alert uses proven intake methods customizing responses as needed which earns the trust of clients and improves client retention.  To find out how Alert can help your law office, call 866-827-5568 or visit alertcommunications.com/ltn.

Now more than ever, an effective marketing strategy is one of the most important things your law firm can have and Scorpion can help.  With nearly 20 years of experience serving legal industry, Scorpion has proven methods to help you get the high value cases you deserve.  Join thousands of attorneys across the country who’ve turned to Scorpion for effective marketing and technology solutions.  For a better way to grow your practice, visit scorpionlegal.com.

Jared Correia:  Welcome back.  We’re here again at the rear-end of The Legal Toolkit.  It’s the rump roast.  It’s a grab bag of short form topics all of my choosing.  Why do I get to choose?  Because I’m the host.  Today we’re going to play a new game I invented just for Cady.  I figured this out earlier this afternoon.  I’m going to call it “Philly Fanatics.”

Cady Darago:  Oh, boy.

Jared Correia:  Philadelphia sports fans are crazy as balls.  I think it’s safe to say that.  And I say that as someone who lives in Boston where sports fans can get occasionally lit.  But I feel like Philly sports are a special breed of whacked.  Cady, would you agree?

Cady Darago:  I agree 100%.  Living an hour north of Philly and not being a fan of any sports team, so I wholeheartedly agree.

Jared Correia:  This is the best part.  You don’t even need to know anything about sports to play this game.  Believe it or not, this is actually the second time we’ve covered the subject on the show because previously we interviewed one of the creators of the Philadelphia Flyers mascot.  His name is Gritty.  Have you seen Gritty, the Flyers mascot?

Cady Darago:  Yeah.

Jared Correia:  He’s like nightmare fuel.  The scariest monkey mascot —

Cady Darago:  Yeah, my kids are petrified of him.

Jared Correia:  Yeah, like everyone’s petrified of him, adults included, but yeah, he’s become kind of a weird Philly success story.  So here’s how we’re going to play.  I’m going to talk about some crazy shit that sports fans have done, and all you have to do is tell me whether these were Philly fans or not.

Cady Darago:  Yes.  Okay, good.

Jared Correia:  All right, we’re going to try and get through five of these.

(00:30:02)

Cady Darago:  Okay.

Jared Correia:  Here’s number one.  We’re going to start off easy, maybe easy.  I don’t know.  These fans once through snowballs at Santa Claus.  Philly fans or no?

Cady Darago:  Philly fans.

Jared Correia:  Yes.  Do you know the story?

Cady Darago:  I don’t.

Jared Correia:  Philadelphia Eagles, they had a game at their old stadium called Franklin field and it was like 20 degrees, 30 miles an hour winds, the team needed somebody to play Santa Claus so they pulled this 20-year-old dude out of the stadium and dressed him up as Santa Claus, and people were so drunk and angry that they started throwing snowballs at him and pelted him so much that he had to leave the field.

Cady Darago:  Oh, my gosh.

Jared Correia:  This actually happens.  It’s actually so bad they call it the Santa Claus game.  You’re one for one.  Those are Philly fans.  Here’s question number two.  On at least four separate occasions, this football team’s fans have thrown at least one dildo into the end zone against the same opponent.  Are these Philly fans?

Cady Darago:  Yes?

Jared Correia:  This is also real, by the way.

Cady Darago:  Yes, I want to say yes.

Jared Correia:  This is actually no.

Cady Darago:  Really?

Jared Correia:  This is Buffalo fans.  Buffalo Bills fans.

Cady Darago:  Who were they playing?  Who was the opponent?

Jared Correia:  Patriots.

Cady Darago:  All right, totally accepted.  Okay.

Jared Correia:  #BillsMafia.  This happened in 2016, in 2017, in 2018 and in 2022.

Cady Darago:  Oh, my gosh.

Jared Correia:  Yeah, Bills fans are crazy.

Cady Darago:  So after Brady left then.

Jared Correia:  Yeah, this is a common thing.  That’s number two.  We got number three.  Number three.  This city had to grease the street lamps so fans wouldn’t climb them during victory celebrations.  Philly fans.  Yay or nay?

Cady Darago:  I’m going to say nay.

Jared Correia:  Oh, this is Philly’s fans.

Cady Darago:  Oh see, I wasn’t knocking Philly’s fans in this one.  I was knocking like the preparatory staff would have to grease —

Jared Correia:  You were knocking the Philadelphia City government.  That’s okay.  So Super Bowl in 2018, the City of Philadelphia had to smear Crisco on the lampposts so that fans wouldn’t climb them and destroy things.

Cady Darago:  I feel like Crisco should really use that as a marketing.  A marketing piece.

Jared Correia:  They probably should.  Yeah, absolutely.  All right, so your one for three so far which is pretty good.  If we’re playing major league baseball, that would be 3:33 average (00:32:28) sneeze at.  I got number four for you.  A fan of this team got famous running back to sign a urinal that he bought from a decommissioned stadium.  Which fan base is this, Philly or not?  You don’t tell me the fan base just whether or not it was a Philly fan.

Cady Darago:  Yeah, a Philly fan.

Jared Correia:  Not a Philly fan.

Cady Darago:  No.  That’s a cool thing to have signed though.  I mean, not cool, but interesting thing to have signed.

Jared Correia:  So I’ll tell you, the Silver Dome, which is where the Detroit Lions used to play.  Detroit Lions’ fan auctioned off all kinds of fixtures in the stadium and someone bought a urinal.  And this guy actually brought the urinal to a signing that was being done by Barry Sanders, famous Lions running back.

Cady Darago:  Yeah.

Jared Correia:  And the article and it says, “Sanders hesitated to sign but was eventually convinced.”  Okay, number five, here one for four, here’s your chance to resurrect things go and solid two for five.  A fan of this team intentionally threw up on an 11-year-old girl while being escorted out of the stadium for unruly behavior.

Cady Darago:  Philly fan.

Jared Correia:  Yes, Philadelphia Phillies.  Have you heard about this?

Cady Darago:  I remember hearing about this.

Jared Correia:  This is like so gnarly, and the 11-year-old girl was an off-duty police officer’s daughter.  This guy wasn’t even drunk and he made himself throw up on a little girl.  That’s just so fucked up.

Cady Darago:  What is even wrong?  Damn it.  That’s why I don’t bring my kids to Philly’s game.

Jared Correia:  That’s right.  That’s right.  Never bring your kids to a sports Stadium.  Public service announcement.  Cady, well done.  Two for five, 400 in the rump roast.  You are no slouch.  Thank you for coming in for this segment.  Thank you for the prior segment and we’ll talk to you soon.

Cady Darago:  Sounds good, Jared.  Thanks a lot.

Jared Correia:  If you want to find out more about Cady Darago and ESQuisite Marketing, visit esquisite.com.  That is E-S-Q-U-I-S-I-T-E.com.  For the people in the back, E-S-Q-U-I-S-I-T-E.com.  See that fine pun there?  ESQuisite like Esquire.

Now for those of you living in Intercourse, Pennsylvania, who I can only imagine are living a much different lifestyle than those of you in Blue Ball, Pennsylvania, but I digress.

(00:35:01)

I have a great playlist on Spotify for you.  Since we talked about the big four software for law firms, I’ve got some phenomenal tunes from (00:35:13) need only apply, and yes, my standup comedy routine does need a little work, okay.  Now I’m going to cry again.  Okay, I’m fine now.  That’ll do it for another episode of The Legal Toolkit podcast.  This is Jared Correia, reminding you that running amok is actually a recognized medical condition in Malaysia.  See you next time.

Continue Reading