Joe Patrice

Joe Patrice

Host of Above the Law - Thinking Like a Lawyer

Joe Patrice is an Editor at Above the Law. For over a decade, he practiced as a litigator at both Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton and Lankler Siffert & Wohl, representing a variety of individuals, institutions, and foreign sovereigns in criminal and civil matters. Then Joe left private practice to concentrate on making snide remarks about other lawyers which is at least as fulfilling as motion practice.

Recent Episodes
March 13, 2024

Biglaw’s Parental Leave Backslide

Parental leave and a bumbling Supreme Court highlight the week.

March 6, 2024

Too Rich For Trump’s Blood

Bond... unaffordable cash bond.

February 28, 2024

Return To Office Policies Attempt To Catch Bees With Vinegar

What is it they say about just a spoonful of sugar?

February 21, 2024

Hard To Say Where Arrested Lawyer Went Wrong But Posting About Selling Drugs Probably Didn’t Help

This week's podcast!

February 14, 2024

It Pays To Be A Delusional Hack

Even-keeled professionalism may pay off over time, but being a mercurial lunatic always pays off now.

February 7, 2024

Habba Dabba Doo!

We're reaching peak Alina saturation.

January 31, 2024

I Screwed Up Basic Trial Procedure And All I Got Was This Lousy Swimsuit: The Alina Habba Story

Sometimes you can't actually fake being smart.

January 24, 2024

Alina Habba Goes Full Lionel Hutz In Latest Trump Trial

'The only rules are there are no rules' apparently doesn't fly in Judge Kaplan's courtroom.

January 17, 2024

Donald Trump’s Legal Team Decides Not To Ask Permission OR Forgiveness

Who needs a judge's approval to start ranting in court? Every other person ever, you say?

January 10, 2024

Roberts Explains That Artificial Intelligence Can’t Replace Judges Because How Would Billionaires Fly An AI To Luxury Resorts Anyway?

Maybe GPT-5 will want a free RV?

January 3, 2024

2023 Year In Review

The highs and mostly lows from the year that was.

December 20, 2023

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being Rudy’s Wallet

Defaming people doesn't pay well.

December 13, 2023

The Firm’s Doing Great… Also We’re Doing Layoffs.

There's never a good look for layoffs but there are definitely bad ones.

December 6, 2023

Breaking Down The Great Biglaw Raise Of 2023

Payable sometime in 2024... of course.

November 29, 2023

Paging Rule 11

Elon Musk files a facially ludicrous lawsuit and Trump argues that sexual assault doesn't count on airplanes.

November 22, 2023

Trump Complained About Us In His Mistrial Motion And All We Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

We discuss Trump's failed motion, DeSantis racking up bills, and Biglaw whiners.

November 15, 2023

Do You Know Where Your Raises Are?

Big week in Biglaw news.

November 8, 2023

Some Clients Aren’t Worth The Risk For Biglaw… And, Yes, We Mean Donald Trump

Discussing the risks of representing Trump, Sam Bankman-Fried's goofy courtroom sketch, and Biglaw's open letter to law schools.

November 1, 2023

No More Room In This World For Two Ampersands

Stroock strikes out.

October 25, 2023

But, Maybe, Logic Games Were… Good?

LSAT's decision is not totally... illogical.

October 11, 2023

Dispatches From The End Of Analog Lawyering

A Clio Cloud Conference roundup.

October 4, 2023

One Day You’re Getting Cold Called And The Next Day You’re Shooting Up Cars

Also Donald Trump's lawyers continue making mistakes.

September 27, 2023

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before We Had To Talk About This Again

This week we chat about the First Amendment, sexual harassment, and, yet again, Blackface in the legal community.

September 20, 2023

Fifth Circuit Gets Way More Originalist Than You Thought Possible

Plus a dramatic reading of the MyPillow deposition.

September 13, 2023

Biglaw Firm Offers Racy, Expensive Summer Event Before No-Offering Summers Anyway

In our latest chat, we discuss Biglaw strip club outings, Jeff Clark taking time away from his indictment to be an idiot online, and associates unhappy with a law firm's office tracker.

September 6, 2023

Amy Coney Barrett Wants Her Cake And To Enact Sweeping Constitutional Rewrites Too

Also, how to create a culture that welcomes Biglaw vacations.

August 30, 2023

The Law, The Law! It’s Chock Full Of Clowns. Dubious Lawsuits Up And Productivity’s Down!

A little Broadway for this week's title.

August 16, 2023

Well, The Jerk Store Called…

And they're running out of a bunch of lawyers.

August 9, 2023

Supreme Court’s Bitter Battle Over Ethics

Elena Kagan and Samuel Alito have… very different takes on judicial ethics and what Congress’s role is in all of it. Plus, Lindsey Graham has a change of heart about a federal...

July 19, 2023

‘Supreme Court Ethics’ Achieves Oxymoron Status

Also more mandatory office policies and a brief primer on the Federal Circuit controversy.

July 12, 2023

Elon Musk Is Having A Very Litigious Week

Between threatening Facebook and suing Wachtell, the Chief Twit is pretty active. We also talk about the end of the Supreme Court Term and the struggles in bar prep.

June 28, 2023

Justice Alito Doth Protest Too Much

Talking about Supreme Court scandals, marijuana rights, and the top law schools out there.

June 21, 2023

This Is Why You Need To Pay Your Lawyers

Because someday you might face massive espionage charges... or something.

June 14, 2023

Donald Trump Got Indicted For Toilet Espionage But We Still Need To Talk About This Bear Cop

When you think about it, is a deputized bear really weirder than keeping classified documents in a bathroom with two chandeliers?

June 7, 2023

Free Speech Hypocrisy, Hot Bench Troubles, And ChatGPT Legal Research

Maybe the woman who called the cops on a Black birdwatcher should try using ChatGPT to make up some fake caselaw for her appeal because the real ones aren't helping.

May 31, 2023

Biglaw’s 4-Day Mandatory Office Week Is A Big Gamble

And the Supreme Court's ethical problems just won't go away.

May 24, 2023

Ron DeSantis Is A Walking Law School Exam Of What Not To Do

How can one guy mess up this much? Ron DeSantis is about to announce a run for president, but meanwhile he’s botching remedial civil procedure and running face first in the Fourteenth...

May 17, 2023

Finally We Have U.S. News Law School Rankings… And They’re Weird

Joe and Chris talk about law school, layoffs, and basic decency.

May 10, 2023

How Have We Not Yet Hit The Bottom Of The Clarence Thomas Scandal?

When you list all of the revelations of the past month, it's impressive.

May 3, 2023

Bold Proposal: Let’s Just Convict People Of Crimes We Can Prove They Committed

Also Ron DeSantis is getting beaten up by Disney again.

April 19, 2023

Clarence Thomas: The Convenient Textualist

Who reads all of the statute anyway?

April 12, 2023

What’s Half A Million Dollars Among Friends And Easily Corruptible Government Figures?

Clarence Thomas takes some me time.

April 5, 2023

Disney’s Newest Princess Dooms Ron DeSantis

Also Morgan & Morgan has had it with insurance lobbyists and the legal profession is losing talent to OnlyFans.

March 29, 2023

Biglaw Office Policies: You Catch More Associates With Honey Than Vinegar

Latest podcast also talks about ranking the best law schools the worst way possible.

March 15, 2023

Federal Judge Turns Law School Event Into Pro Wrestling Style Spectacle

Also, Elon Musk really needs legal counsel.

March 8, 2023

Federal Judge Didn’t Know Handcuffing Crying Children Was Frowned Upon

And a pop quiz: do you know what 'bofadeez' is?

March 1, 2023

There’s Only Loud Quitting In Law Firms

And Sidney Powell drew the judge she needed at the right time.

February 22, 2023

Infamy And The Billable Hour

Clarence Thomas is getting a statue... allow your imagination to run wild.

February 8, 2023

Have You Considered Not Lying Under Oath?

Also, let's talk about Biglaw and cancel culture.

February 1, 2023

The Justices Are One Big, Happy Family, Says Justice No One Likes

Also, some salty law school talk.